This person claimed to be from "Customer Service on your copy machines, looking for the model numbers on your machine."  Since this is an old scam I know well, I decided to play along with him.  He spoke in vague generalities, asking for "John," and then asking for senior officers of my company (listed on any search engine).  Then he started abusing me, calling me names and ordering me to connect him to "anyone with a brain."  Finally he called me a brainless [***] and hung up.

I would like somebody to hurt him, please.