Called doing a survey about anal intercourse and how far the conservative vs liberal phallus penetrated. Also asked for donations to keep the establishment running as status quo. With my butt so sore after the last 5 administrations, I just couldn't answer the questions anymore. I put the phone down, in tears. Then I got in the shower in fetal position until my tear ducts were dry.

A gentleman called asking to rent my homosexual dolphins for a summer kids camp for victims of Canadian politicians. After a lengthy discussion we came to an agreement on price. They would borrow at high interest rates and pay me knowing full well they don't have a fund-raising prayer in the foreseeable future. I don't care long as I get paid. These dolphins go through a lot at these camps.

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