Feb 16, 2016
Phone rings. Caller ID says "Solar Experts" at 609-337-4763. These guys have called before, so I picked up.
Me: "Hello?"
Solar (with heavy Indian accent): "Hello. My name is Paul, and I'm calling from-"
Me: "Your name isn't Paul."
Solar: "What?"
Me: "Your name isn't Paul."
Solar: "Yes, my name is Paul."
Me: "You're calling from an Indian call center; I can hear the other callers behind you and they've all got Indian accents. Your name isn't Paul."
Solar: *laugh* "I'm calling from where?"
Me: "You're calling from an Indian call center, and your name isn't Paul. If your name is Paul then my name is Kunta Kinte."
Solar: "I'm not calling from a call center-"
Me: "Yes, you are. Look, we need to start this business relationship off on the right foot. The reality is you're calling from a call center in India, using a VoIP line to avoid American telecommunications laws, with a fake Caller ID, dialing a phone number that's been on the Do Not Call list for at least the past nine years, and the very first thing out of your mouth is a lie. So how about you start over again, this time with your real name which is probably something like 'Vihaan' or 'Aarav', right?"
Solar: *click*