Nov 24, 2015
So, let me put these fools on blast. The auto-message states that I had a certified letter returned to sender, and to call a 213 number or press 1. Feeling saucy, I pressed 1 and an "Investigator Cruz" chick answered the phone. She asked if I knew about a debt, and I said no because [***] her if she thinks I am going to tell her [***]. She said it might have been a mistake, then asked if I was the J-Man, and I said "you know it, sweet-tits". Then I asked her what department she was an investigator for, and she said "Financial Crimes". I then asked "from what agency?", and she said "The Department of Financial Crimes, State of Texas." As I mentioned she was calling from Cali, she hung-up.
So, I called back and got some [***]-holster who answered "certified letters". I told her that I was dealing-on some cum-dumpster named "Investigator Cruz" and was transferred. Now this skank said she was with the Department of Financial Crimes in California, and I was being charged with a felony in Texas. I called "[***]" and told her to send her complaint to my lawyers; Chzechem, Phucem, and Dumpem, and she hung-up again.
I called back again, and was on hold for 8 minutes. There is no Department of Financial Crimes for the State of California or Texas, the closest thing to it is under individual cities, not the state. I think these [***] were afraid I was going to drag my dick through their offices and make them all fall in love.