He tells me his name is Nick, and that he wants to have hardcore asian sex with me. I keep getting scared, so I hang up, and he keeps calling me back, about weed and [***]. He told me if I didn't stop hanging up he'd stuff my face with condoms.

If he says crap like that just tell him you know where he lives because you tracked his number and the police are coming to arrest him for his stupidity. It works for me when people prank call me.

i'd tell him that you are anxious to try it and will only play if you can stuff them first.

Then I'd put a hot 9 up his behind and walk em down.

Just my 2 cents