"You have recently applied for a payday loan. Our private lenders have lowered the requirements for loan qualification. Your application is been reviewed by our largest lenders and you are now pre-approved for our highest gold level of $1500 to collect your funds. Simply press one now. Again press one now to receive your pre-approved loan. If you would like to decline this loan please press nine and you'll be taken off of our list."

No, I have never applied for a payday loan!